In Memoriam: Jay Press Friend and Fisherman

My buddy Jay-san lived as others merely imagined but never realized

Nov. 8, 2010

Jay-san surfcasting on Gin Beach in Montauk, October 2003

Sad days. Jay P., a great friend and fishing companion, succumbed last week to a debilitating illness that drained the sport out of a terrific sportsman.  My remembrance of Jay’s inauguration to surfcasting goes back to 1983 with Jay riding the ocean beach for the first time in my Scout, along with Big Brother Frank as we searched for blues and bass. “So how big a pole do you need and what kind of reel?” he asked. “And what type of lures do you cast and where do you get those waders?” By the next season, Jay was fully outfitted, including a brand new Jeep Wrangler boasting a custom made cooler rack with rod holders from Hamburger’s in Tom’s River, NJ. Jay’s trademark was “All In!”

Jaypster was a man who never let reality be an obstacle in the way of his desire. He taught me it was indeed possible to create one’s life exactly as one would want it to be. Where others saw limitations, Jay had the vision to see opportunity. He chose to live his life as most people simply imagined but never realized.

I fished many seasons with Jay and his sporting wife Laura. Besides the catch, it was always the gestalt that he loved most: The camaraderie of the hunt and the celebration of our victories;  The accoutrements of cool, colorful October days: coffee with “fortification”, cigars for the indulgent and, of course, Jay’s signature morning manna for the beach: lovely rolls.

Jay was a big picture guy for whom the details counted mightily. With Jay, we didn’t just clean fish after a good catch.  Jay would see to it that we had a fish cleaning party, complete with Bloody Marys on his deck, and a manly bacon-and-eggs breakfast at his table.  Jay excelled in the kitchen with our bounty.  Blackened bluefish was one of his many triumphs.  And none but Jay could turn out a dish so unexpected and delicious as bluefish parmigiana.

I’ll miss Jay throughout the year. He was a fixture at my table on Christmas Eve, an original instigator of our annual Lunar New Year road trip to Chinatown, and an enthusiastic participant in countless summer “gala gala” dinners and beach parties. But I will miss Jay most during fishing season.

Farewell and tight lines, good friend. The gestalt of surfcasting on the East End simply won’t be the same without you. Heaven has itself a keeper in you.

11 Responses to “In Memoriam: Jay Press Friend and Fisherman”

  1. Ron Leonni says:

    Fred,
    Rest in peace Mr. Gadget. Didn’t know him well but what I knew was that
    he was a good human being, a good person and always fun to be with. Your words were kind, moving and a tribute to him. Glad we spent this past lunar New Year in Chinatown with him.

    Ron

  2. Laura Papa says:

    Fred – what a beautiful memorial. Thank you for sharing with us. Laura

  3. Roberta and Georgie says:

    Sorry you lost your good friend, Jackie. Remember the memories and he will sit on your shoulder to enrich your life.

  4. eugenia bartell says:

    What a beautiful tribute to an extraordinary friend and fellow surfcaster!!! It is by far the most heartfelt message of acknowledgement and appreciation that I have ever read.

  5. Charlie says:

    Fred,
    Sorry for the loss of your friend, you have my prayers.
    C

  6. Gina Abatemarco says:

    Alas Uncle Fred. You said it. I miss Jay reading and so too does my mouth water.

  7. Jean Cecchini says:

    Beautiful Fred — you captured the essence of Jay-San.

  8. Jean Cecchini says:

    Beautiful Fred — you captured the essence of Jay-San.

  9. Phil C. says:

    All the Cecchini’s will greatly miss a wonderful human being

    Fred, you said it all…….Phil

  10. John Polcari says:

    The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
    Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
    Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
    Collect the remnants of worldly goods;
    Reflect on those things that have come to a rest,
    Always remembering to cherish the best.

    (Adapted from W.H. Auden)

    Fred,
    We are truly sorry for the loss of your friend.
    jp

  11. Fred Abatemarco says:

    Thanks to Mike Wright of East Hampton/Southampton Press/27.east.com for reprinting this tribute to Jay in his hunting and fishing column “In The Field” on Nov. 9.

    http://www.27east.com/news/article.cfm/Other/310724/Foul-Weather-Will-Mean-Fine-Fishing

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